There was a crooked man
Remember all those things you were told as a kid? Don’t make that face it will stay that way. Don’t do that you’ll go blind or you’ll grow hair on your knuckles. Well, I think there was some truth to these crazy ideas. For example, I am losing my sight. I can’t hang anything straight without a level. Secondly, hairs have started to grow in all sorts of weird places, including my knuckles. I have wild nose hairs and hair coming out of my ears. And to top it all off my face naturally frowns. Remember “The Stone Face Boy”?
There was a crooked man and he walked a crooked mile,
He found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile.
He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse.
And they all lived together in a little crooked house
While I may aspire to have chiseled features, a stone face is not the result I was hoping to achieve. But life deals you all the cards. Sometimes you get a black jack and sometimes you get the joker.
So I guess I have become a sad, hairy, blind,
masturbating, old man! It could be worse.