Say the word

I think the smartphone was designed for kids.  My granddaughters have it mastered.   It perplexes me.  Maybe I am trying to hard.  I am trying to apply logic to how it works.  I end up wanting to throw it across the room.   Good thing I bought and Otter Box for it or it would be dead by now.

I long for the days when a phone was merely a phone.  But my new boss likes to communicate with text messages sent to my phone.   I hate text messages! As if I weren’t a bad enough speller this damn thing has something called autosense and it tries to predict what I am typing.  Even I can’t do that so why does this damn phone think it can.   I am sure you have seen the segment on Ellen of all the ridiculous “corrections” phones have made to text messages. Somehow “grandma is in the hospital” became “grandma is a prostitute.”   While both of those statements might be true you don’t what to text that to all your friends and family members.

Aside from the auto correct I have other issues.  I think my fingers are too big. I can’t seem to get the right letter or number.  Or trying to touch that damn arrow at the end of the line for more info and instead you dial the person up, let alone all the pocket dialing you can do if you don’t lock it first.

Plus I think my body temperature is wrong.  Sometime I can’t open it.   It is ringing, ringing, ringing, and I can’t seem to slide the lock open and answer it.  This is when the phone goes across the room.

In the car I have new issues.   My phone syncs to the car radio thanks to the good people at SyncMyRide.    This is great when it works.  If the phone rings I just push little button on my steering wheel that looks like a receiver and talk into the dash, “Hello, you’re on speaker phone, this is Jeff”.    You need to tell them you are on a speaker phone so they don’t start saying things that others might not appreciate who maybe in the vehicle with you.  At Christmas time this is very important when discussing gift decisions, etc.  “Children will listen”.

Okay so that is when it works.   Interestingly enough to place a call you can talk to the car.    The car understands me most of the time.  I press the media button and the screen says Listening.  I say Call Rick Cell.   It repeats back calling Rick Cell and we are connected.   Basically it has the names and numbers in it that are in my cell phone and it uses bluetooth and a whole lot of magic to place the call.   If I say call Brandon it will come back and ask  Brandon on Cell or Home.   So it has some intelligence too.  What if you have multiple Brandon’s in your phone.  Don’t do it!  It causes too many questions and frustration.   Give them nick names or something trust me.

Now here is where the phone throwing into the passenger seat and near collisions happen.  The damn thing says “No phone is available, I will try to locate one.”   On occasion this is a simple process it finds the phone and then I ask for the number again.   Usually though this happens because the battery in the smartphone is too low and it has disabled bluetooth to conserve energy.  Now I have to dig the phone out of my pocket and attempt to plug it into the cigarette lighter and start the find phone and call Rick all over again.  By this time I am in the driveway and screaming at the car because it is say things like, “you can say, directions, phone, usb device”  I am screaming shut up. It politely comes back with I don’t understand your response please try again.  It will try 3 times and then it hangs up on you.  Fun times!!

It also has trouble if you have a cold… don’t get me started.  The directions say the car has trouble with S’s too so you should respond Yep instead of yes.  Imagine that, Cindy Brady is in my car!!!

Okay I am coming to the final annoyance  and then I will call it a day.   If you don’t turn bluetooth off on your phone and you are the passenger, when you place a call it will sync to the damn car radio.  Then I have to try to tell my dad I will call him back or the whole car has to hear what we are saying.!!  I know it’s working right?  So I guess I can’t really complain too much.

The car will recognize up to 5 different smartphones.  One is call the primary and it sync whenever it is present.   The others follow.  I have not tried to sync Rick’s phone yet.  I am afraid we might be throwing things at each other and screaming more than we already do.  You see I am a backseat driver already, we don’t need a lady in the dash tellin us where to go, trust me on this one.

Give me a phone with a dial.   Maybe even a party line for chat.   Take my smartphone, please! 

“Hal, open the pod doors.  I want to throw something out.” 

“Sorry Dave I can’t do that.”

“My mind is going.  I can feel it!”

Note:  The car also has  a parking assistant.  I have been afraid to try it.  The car finds and steers itself into a parallel spot. Look for a future post when I get the courage.


2 Responses to “Say the word”

  1. I like iPhone 4S with Siri so much but I’m afraid that she can’t understand my English.

  2. I most certainly agree; I am all for going back to dixie cups with string.

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