Dreams or echos?
Last night I had an interesting dream. I was in an office building and was carrying some Easter decorations, a straw bunny and some flowers in a basket. I put the decorations down and two young men came over to me and got into my personal space. We were very close. The the one young man kissed me. I pushed him back, sort of embarrassed and hoping no one saw what had just happened. Then as if his words changed me, he said, “You are a very handsome man. We have been admiring you ever since your first day.” I looked down at myself and I was a very handsome man. Then I woke up.
So where is this taking me? This morning I got on the scales and had lost almost 2 more lbs. I am changing. I went to breakfast with the guys. There were only three of us today. Our newest member of the breakfast club sat across from me at the table. I secretly admire him. He is a well build guy. Alas he is married. I don’t know how the conversation got there, but he said “I have always liked you. From the first day I met you, I thought you were a great guy.” He didn’t kiss me but other than that the dream came true.
The weight loss is motivating. I think I can become a handsome man again. The support of my peers is also reassuring. I don’t think I will ever be built like my friend in the breakfast club, but then I really don’t want to be like that either. I want to be healthy, not a body builder. I don’t have the narcissism it takes to maintain a build like that, not that breakfast buddy is narcissistic, but I have dated plenty in the past who were. I want to love myself, not be in love with myself.
You know what happened to Narcissus don’t you? He fell so in love with his own reflection in the pond he could not stop staring. He died there with Echo looking on.
Echo was a nymph who talked to much. Always telling stories. So as punishment for this her ability to speak was altered. She could only repeat what someone else said. Narcissus kept telling his reflection, “I love you” and Echo would repeat it back to him. As was her curse “You shall still have the last word, but no power to speak first.” Echo was in love with Narcissus, but of course he was only in love with himself. In the end he realized it was a reflection and stabbed himself in grief. Echo faded away into the woods where she can still be heard today.
My brief retelling of this story is based on what I heard in a Cardiovascular meeting. The rest of the meeting was deadly dull. But this history lesson on the Echocardiogram stayed with me.