The battle of the Danish, October 6th, 2012

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
― William Shakespeare, Hamlet

The apple Danish laid there waiting, knowing it would finally win.  I kept staring at it across the room.  It was showing off in its little tin with the clear plastic dome.   Eat me! Eat me!  It cried out.  For the love of god shut up I screamed back.

 After an hour it had me hovering over it, reading the ingredients.   “Apple Coffee Cake” it said on the dome.  140 calories per serving.  8 servings per container.  Its lovely white icing dripping over crumbled brown sugar.  The knife just waiting by its side.  The pastry still looked fresh and delight fully fluffy.   I checked the expiration date.  It’s today!  It would be such a shame to throw something so wonderful in the trash. 

 I sit back down and continue to ignore its pleading with me.  Jeff e r y ….Jeff e r y….Eat Me!  Eat Me Now!!!

 Fifteen minutes pass.  I am so bored. Let’s see, I have read all my emails, taken one call, played on YouTube.  Now what?

 I float over to the table again.  I grab the knife and open the dome.  Hmmm.  How much of this is one serving?  “Who cares just cut me already”, the Danish screamed back.  At this point there was no turning back.  I cut a slice and put it on a napkin.  Quickly I close the dome so as to muffle its sound and carry my treasure back to my desk.  Half way back I have taken a bite.   It is fresh!  It is wonderful.  It is a sin.   I eat it all and destroy the evidence.  No one will know. It is just me and the Danish here anyway.  My relief doesn’t come in for several more hours.  Will there be any Danish left?

 I can be strong now.  I have tasted defeat and I will have no more.  I look down at my shirt and some of his gooey goodness has landed on my tummy.   Out,  damn spot! (wrong play…wish me luck!)

2 Responses to “The battle of the Danish, October 6th, 2012”

  1. I think you should them all at once and forget them rather than always craving for a piece. That’s not a good way for dieting 🙂

  2. Sweets are like Mrs. Danvers; they sneak behind and whisper in your ear. “Why don’t you… …it would be so easy.”

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