Going over the cliff

There has been a lot of talk in the news about some imaginary fiscal cliff that the country is about to go over.    I want to talk to you about a cliff that is a little more close to home for me, my belly!    I measured it today, not pretty at 55 inches.   What does this mean?  I wear 40 inch pants.  That is a 15 inch difference.   If we put those two circles inside each other it would look like this

mywaist as a circle

But my waist is not a circle it is more of an ellipse which pushes those extra inches to the front, more like this


Aren’t these visual aids fun?  So you can see my problem right? Certain body parts are eclipsed if you aren’t a porn star. This may explain why there is always pee on the floor in front of the urinal. I used to think it was because of drunks who didn’t care, “Hey, I am in the bathroom right? Good enough!”.  But with the thickening of  waistlines we see that this is the direct result of not being able to get close enough to hit the target.  My solution is to use the stall or in a pinch I suck it in and get real close.   The latter requires great skill not to catch the over-spray all over your clothes.

Okay now that you have that visual in your head…..let’s move on.  Tomorrow I am going to post a little rant about clothes shopping.  I will attempt to answer the question, “What is big n’ tall?”


2 Responses to “Going over the cliff”

  1. mine is worse; the fat is mostly inside the abdominal cavity, not on top of it – much worse for health’s sake.

    • Oh, I think you missed the point. Mine is definitely around the middle in the front. I can’t put my pants that high because they would be drapes. And when I take a breathe the would fall to the floor. The new low rise jeans and underwear have been my solution. Otherwise it would be suspenders. You see I am built like a pregnant woman.

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