A death in the family

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My cousin Leeann was killed yesterday morning in a fatal car accident.  She was 36 years old.  I haven’t seen my cousin since she was a little girl.  She has left behind her children, Angel, 9 and Bethany 13 who were still living with her.  She had two other children, a boy who is living with his father and a daughter who was adopted at birth by her parents (my aunt and uncle).   My cousin Leeann, and her two sisters, Jane and Tanya were also adopted by my aunt and uncle.  It has got me thinking about life and how it can be taken away suddenly.

My uncle had a difficult time raising these children.  They were sexually and physically abused by their blood parents.  Leeann was the oldest and created a mental block to her past.  This block caused her to have a learning disorder.  Her sisters were too young to remember much and most of the abuse was inflicted on Leeann.  I was told this is common that one child is singled out.

Anyway, I only ever saw her one summer when the family came to California for a visit.  She was about 9 or 10, the same age as her daughter Angel is now.   I remember her as a sweet and loving child.   They were a happy family.   

As the years pasted I was not a part of their lives.  My father kept in touch and made several visits back to Pennsylvania but I had my own life then.  I was a young man trying to make my mark in the world.  I had no time for visiting cousins and such.  Plus my uncle didn’t approve of my life style so I stayed away from him.

I got the weekly updates from my dad on how they were doing, babies, marriages, etc.  Last night was the last update.   Leeann was dead.

I looked it up in the press and the stories put to drunk driving and no seat belts.  She and the driver, a man she had been out with, were pronounced dead at the scene.  The car had slammed into a tree.  It is eerie reading about tragedy in the paper that is your own family.   One newspaper posted a picture of artifacts left at scene, a pack of cigarettes, a hair brush, it looked so surreal.   I wonder what sort of picture will be my last.

She was only 36!  Forgive me but I am sad right now.  I am not sure but I think I am sad for me not her.  She has been released from this world and into the next.  Maybe I am a little jealous or is that madness?  My mind wonders on this topic every time someone dies that I know or am related to, are they truly better off, and if they are what are we doing here.  I know it is silly, but logic just doesn’t apply to death does it?

I will pray for Leeann and her family in my own way and to my own version of god.  I will also pray for me and my partner, that no harm be falls us before our time.

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One Response to “A death in the family”

  1. I’ve been away for a week, and only now getting caught up….
    I am so sorry for you loss. I hope you are surrounded by friends and loved ones now.

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