My gay life….

I have been thinking a lot about what this new ruling means.  The paper put together a timeline for the last few months of this leading up to yesterdays first same sex marriage license being issued in Nevada, but my struggle has be much longer.  My timeline spans more than 40 years since puberty, and probably since birth but I didn’t know I was different until society told me I was…..

So here is an attempt at putting together the milestones of my gay life:

First “gay” experience — Playing doctor in a boat on Lake Mead with my friend Steven.  I just realized it all started in Nevada.  I am not sure on the date for this but I know I was coming of age, say 13 or 14.  That would be 1973.


Not the big boat more like the small one.

First time with another man — Again this is hard to pinpoint but I know it happened one summer in Malibu with a married man when I was about 17.   We met in the showers on the beach.  I later discovered he had a family in the campground.  That would be 1977.   I know this sounds terrible now, but in those days there weren’t any places for under age people to meet.


The straight people were using the cave.


First time I went to a gay bar — I was 20.  So that would be 1980.  It was amazing.  Guys were with guys and they weren’t watching football, they were dancing.


Alibi East, “The Club”

Experimental years — (1980 – 1982) –  During this time I was exploring options.  I met and had a relationship with someone from the bar which we called the club in my hometown of Pomona.  I met another man in the park and we had a relationship until he went to prison.  I have written about this before. I joined the Gay Student Union in college.


 LA County Fair – you could see it from Ganesha Park.

Drinking years –  (1981 – 1985) –  I spent every weekend in a gay bar.  I went home with more people then I can count, from West Hollywood , Laguna Beach, North Hollywood, Studio City, Silver Lake, Long Beach, we had guide books then, called Fodor’s Gay Guide to the USA and Damron’s address book.  I am lucky to be alive.  I got drunk on Halloween 1985 and wrecked my brand new Mazda pickup.  I fell asleep behind the wheel and drove through a dead end.


The 70’s and 80’s version of the internet

First long term relationship — (1986 – 1998) –  We met in a bar.  He didn’t drink.  He was a body builder. It was an abusive relationship both emotionally and physically.  Enough said.


Before he was governor  his picture was taped to our frig

Current relationship — (1999 – present)  Rick and I met through on-line dating.  That’s a story in it self.  We have been together ever since and have had two domestic partnerships, one in California and one in Nevada.  On May 5th of this year we were married in Hawaii.


The happiest day of my life!

The next milestone will be Nevada recognizing our relationship.  The law has changed to allow marriages but there are still lots of other things that need to change.  I am happy for the next generation.  They won’t have to go through the secretive life.

I am sure there are lots of little milestones I could have listed.  Maybe in future posts I will expand on them.

One Response to “My gay life….”

  1. That was a lovely summary; thank you for sharing this.

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