The visit

A week from now I will be going on the dreaded visit. I think my body is fighting it too. This morning I woke up with a sinus headache. I am going to the doctors on Thursday, so if it doesn’t clear up by then I can get some meds before the trip.

I tell people I am going to visit my parents in Morro Bay, California and they don’t understand why this is a problem. Let me just say that the beauty of the location is lost on those who live there.

My obligation is to visit my parents because they miss me…. I miss the way they were. It is hard to see them growing old. It is hard to see them struggling with health issues. I want to fix them but that is not possible. The hardest part is the realization that someday I won’t be able to visit them because they will be gone. Plain and simple, we see the future in our children and the reality of that future in our parents.

The visit always ends with “When will you be back?” There is a strong sense of loss each time, the time lost with them between each visit. Of course, it is understood that we have our own lives to get back to, but in the back of my mind I want to be their little boy. I want them to comfort me.

When I called my mother the other day she said “Why are you calling today? We just spoke a couple of days ago.” I usually call her every Friday after noon. The little boy in me responded, “Cause I miss you mommy.” She paused for a moment and said, “You’ll be here soon.” That rings true. I will be there and I will be “there” waiting for my visitors someday too.

One Response to “The visit”

  1. good luck with this.

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