Conference call

I am here listening to music waiting for another conference call to start. Snow Patrol is playing on Pandora, Chasing Cars. I want to opt out of this meeting and do what the song says, “Lay here and forget the world.” Of course I am sitting and at work so that is not possible. Queue meeting. Music off.

This is my Tuesday, one meeting after another straight through lunch. Literally through lunch. It is late lunch day to compensate for a noon meeting. I don’t take much about work but today I need to ask a question of the universe. Is depression contagious?

I know that sad people can make you feel sad too. My director has been going through some things with her job, her family, and life in general. She confides in me. She makes me sad. But we talk about her problems and I try to listen. There is a tendency to want to solve her problems, which of course I cannot do unless they are work related. So I listen. At times I share similar stories trying to relate to her and let her know she is not alone. It has gotten so bad that she is going to see a counselor this afternoon. Bad may not be the right word. I think everyone should seek help with no stigma attached. But I get the feeling she feels like she is failing or somehow lost control. I am hoping this professional will lead her through this difficult time in her life.

So it makes me sad because she is the rock that holds this department together and yet her life seems to be falling apart. Without going into detail, her issues are really quite normal. Problems with her children growing up and testing their limits. Having devoted most of her non-working hours to her kids she is finding herself alone with her husband and not knowing how to relate to him and be a couple again. She is blaming him for the problems and at the same time telling me how great he is to her.

Here is the number one issue that came up yesterday. She wants to have weight loss surgery and her husband is against it. “You can do it without surgery, with diet and exercise,” is his response. I can relate to this because my partner tells me the same thing. But weight loss is not the real issue here. She is not happy with herself. She is questioning her life choices.

It is funny because she usually has all the answers. I think she knows the answers here too. She is just reluctant to except the changes in her life.

Sometimes we really don’t have any freedom of choice, because choices have outcomes and responsibility.

For me for example, what if I lost weight and I still wasn’t happy with myself, which would likely be the case. I think happiness is the key. So I try to divorce myself from her problems and find my own happiness and share that with her, rather than dwelling on the sadness. I share baby pictures. We talk about food. (I know that sounds counterproductive, but we both love food.) We talk about vacations. We talk about our dreams. It is a much more positive approach. And we talk about work of course.

Hey my conference call is over and now I am listening to Keith Urban, ‘You’ll Think Of Me.”

One Response to “Conference call”

  1. Well you got in your music therapy for the day anyway.

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