Archive for the human rights Category

Why?

Posted in election, human rights, random on November 11, 2016 by jefferyrn

I am reading social media and there is endless bickering back and forth about the election. The prevailing question from Democrats is why did this happen? On the Republican side the question is why can’t  you accept that we won.  The reality is there are no winners here. We have lost ourselves in an ugly campaign that has left a bad taste in our mouths.

I seriously don’t believe  that anything was proved by electing Donald Trump other than that fear is a motivation and hate can be as strong as love.

I can not say with certainty that Hilary would have United this country. But I didn’t feel the hate.

People are asking us to move on and accept. I can not accept a man whose heart is filled with greed. And I refuse to accept racial inequality, sexual inequality, or any other forms of inequality .  

To that end, I understand what people thought they were accomplishing.  An outsider could fix things. A statement was made but at what cost.

I am a very accepting person. I have believed in others who have let me down both personally and professionally.

I accept  the new president . But not without an abundance  of caution. And a little fear.

Quagmire

Posted in family, human rights on October 9, 2014 by jefferyrn

Coldharbour

So here is the latest from the Reno Gazette Journal:

Exactly when that may be remained in a murky morass of judicial orders issued Wednesday in wake of the 9th Circuit’s decision on Tuesday striking down gay marriage bans in Idaho and Nevada.

First, the U.S. Supreme Court issued an order staying the lower court’s opinion and putting same sex marriage on hold in the two states. Then, the U.S. Supreme Court issued another opinion lifting the stay in Nevada. That appeared to put same sex marriage back on track in the Silver State.

But the Coalition to Protect Marriage filed an application for a stay in Nevada, prompting the 9th Circuit to order Gov. Brian Sandoval and the couples who filed the original lawsuit to respond to that request by 5 p.m. Thursday.

Meanwhile, the district attorneys in Nevada awaited an injunction against the gay marriage ban from the federal district court, which would free the county clerks to begin issuing marriage licenses to same sex couples.

“At the end of the day, the ultimate effect remains the same,” Deputy District Attorney David Watts-Vial said. “The clerk can’t start issuing any same sex marriage licenses until an injunction comes out of the district court.”

When that might arrive is unclear because of the Coalition to Protect Marriage’s request for a stay.

“We’ve got orders coming in from three different courts,” Watts-Vial said. “Things are coming in so fast. We’re trying to keep track of everything here.”

In another wrinkle, the original judge, Reno Judge Robert C. Jones recused himself from the case, refusing to issue the injunction mandated by the 9th Circuit. Judge James Mahan will take up the case.

Amid the frenetic legal action, Anita Herrera-Perez and her partner Regena Perez arrived at the Washoe County Clerk’s Office and requested a license. They were the first same sex couple to arrive in person to request a license in Washoe County.

Parent delivered the bad news that she couldn’t issue the license.

The couple took the news in stride.

“”We are willing to wait,” Herrera-Perez said. “We’ve been together 23 years and are hoping to have our marriage recognized here.”

The couple was married in California in 2008 during a brief window when marriages were legal there. That marriage isn’t recognized in Nevada.

“It’s about equality,” Perez said. “We felt equal for seven days and then it was snatched away.”

Herrera-Perez said the couple joked about traveling from state to state for multiple ceremonies where same sex marriage is legal.

“It would be a road trip,” she said.

This really just a big mess…..I have many questions:

  • How can the Coalition to Protect Marriage file an application for a stay in Nevada?  They are not even in the original law suit.
  • Why is Herrera-Perez wanting to get married in Nevada if she already got married in California? You shouldn’t need a license in every state.  This is just non-sense.   We were married in Hawaii.  I don’t plan on doing it gain in Nevada. Nevada should recognize our license from another state just like any straight couples license. This is bull… and ignorance. Saying they are going on a road trip was a joke of course, but they don’t need even one more license.
  • I know the wheels of justice are full of red tape.  I just want this one to be over once and for all.  The only red tape I want to see is maybe one to measure my shrinking waist line.

redtape

Benefits of Marriage

Posted in family, human rights, love, random on October 8, 2014 by jefferyrn

Besides love and companionship, there are many benefits to marriage, especially in the eyes of the law. In fact, there are 1,138 federal benefits, rights and responsibilities associated with marriage.  Here are just a few:

  • visitation rights and can make medical decisions, unless otherwise specified in a living will
  • benefits for federal employees — many of which are also offered by private employers — such as sick leave, bereavement leave, days off for the birth of a child, pension and retirement benefits, family health insurance plans
  • some property and inheritance rights, even in the absence of a will
  • the ability to create life insurance trusts
  • tax benefits, such as being able to give tax free gifts to a spouse and to file joint tax returns
  • the ability to receive Medicare, Social Security, disability and veteran’s benefits for a spouse
  • discount or family rates for insurance
  • immigration and residency benefits, making it easier to bring a spouse to the U.S. from abroad
  • visiting rights in jail

It’s funny I told my mother about all of this and she really didn’t see the point.  She assumed that we had these rights already. Then I had a curious thought. “Did you have to ever show somebody your marriage license?”, I asked her.  She said no. “If you said you were married people took you at your word.” I bet they won’t take my word for it. What do you think?

I also explained to my mother that while my sister seems to be okay with our situation, I don’t know what she might try to do if I died, in terms of our estate, etc. And vice a verse with Ricky’s son. We think we know them but I have seen things change for others in the same situation. Greed trumps common decency.

You see this is not about marriage. This is about being treated fairly and with dignity, to be recognized for who we are and not be ashamed anymore.

I read an article about “coming out” and how there are different degrees.  We come out to our family and friends.  We come out at work.  And we come out publicly to the world.  It is that last one that most of us struggle with out of fear.  I want that fear to go away and be replaced with pride.

And maybe just a little respect!

Happy ever after

Posted in family, human rights, love, random on May 13, 2014 by jefferyrn

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It’s a day I thought I would never have, a wedding day.  I want to try and convey what this means to me (without crying!).   For me married means all the things it is supposed to mean to straight people.  We are a monogamous couple till death do us part.

There is all this talk about the sanctity of marriage and how gay men and lesbian women are destroying it.  That is just plan bull shit.  My partner and I are every bit as dedicated to each other as any straight couple, if not more so.  Sure we can’t “have a baby” unless we adopt, but there are lots of straight couples who adopt as well.   I don’t think marriage is about reproduction.  It is about family however and my parents and our siblings are ecstatic for us.   Ricks mother would have approved as well and I am sure she was smiling down on us.

So what got destroyed here?  Some fussy old notions that marriage is between a man and a woman.  Marriage is between two people who love each other.  Marriage unites different families.   Kings used to use marriage to unite kingdoms.  What has changed? Our marriage has granted us recognition and legal rights.  If the church doesn’t approve, I really don’t care.  There are lots of things churches do that I don’t approve of either.

So what happens next?  We live long and happy lives together.  We shake off some of the stigma that means being gay.  We assimilate into society.  Maybe that is not such a great thing after all.  I like being different.  But I choose to be different.   I didn’t choose to be gay, despite what many straight people still think.

Our relationship is different.  Rick is eleven years older and has a child from another marriage.  He tried to be straight because society expected him to be.   In those eleven years society relaxed a little and started to recognize gay people.  I didn’t have to pretend to be straight.  I didn’t get married to a woman. This is not to say Rick didn’t love his wife.  He still does care about her.  But it was never meant  to be.  It wasn’t fair to her or to him.  He didn’t leave her for another man.  He left her to find himself.

I consider Rick’s ex-wife family.  We have an on going relationship that is held together by our love for his son and each other and the grand children.  Life bonds us.  We are a ka-tet.

“And will I tell you that these three lived happily ever after? I will not, for no one ever does. But there was happiness. And they did live.”  Stephen King – The Dark Tower

 

Wedding crasher?

Posted in family, human rights, love, random, weight loss on April 4, 2014 by jefferyrn

I have one month left (tomorrow) to do something about my weight before we get married in May.  I have been thinking that maybe a crash diet is in order.   I will stop all “nasty” foods for the next month.   Surly I could lose 30 or more pounds.  (I am serious and don’t call me Shirley!)

 

Of course,  I am not being practical.  But I don’t want to look like the guest of honor at the Luau either.

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Remember that couple from Reno I was telling you about?

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Brian and Jereomy

 

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They won the contest!   Go to the site for details….  https://weddings.aclu.org/#

Unfortunately they have not posted them at this writing.  It says coming soon!

From RGJ:

A Reno gay couple is among the top vote getters for the American Civil Liberties Union’s $5,000 wedding sweepstakes, “My Big Gay Illegal Wedding.”

“People have promoted this to everyone (on social media),” said Jeromy Manke, who has been engaged to Brian Jensen since June 2012. “That really helped out a lot with support. And I hate to say it, but we’ve been totally filling up our friends’ newsfeeds (on Facebook).”

Manke and Jensen found out about the ACLU contest in December and received more than 4,800 votes so far, which places them third overall among more than 150 couples in the contest as of ..

You have to pay to read the rest….geez!

Bells are ringing!

Posted in human rights on June 26, 2013 by jefferyrn

California here we come! Well, maybe. The Supreme Court decisions today could have sweeping  impact on gay rights, but here in Nevada we are waiting for a slow legislative process to gain our rights. I was hoping for more from the courts which would have speed things up. But hell I waited this long what’s a few more years.

You see here in Nevada they voted in favor of gay rights. But they have some silly rules that saying they have to vote twice and then put it to the people on a ballot.   The legislature only meets once every other year.   So we wait at least 2 more years. (or move!)

I wonder if we got married in California would they have to recognize it here?  These things are yet to be worked out.  But it is a great day all in all!

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Boy Scouts Honor

Posted in Boy Scouts, human rights, random with tags on January 29, 2013 by jefferyrn

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What about this new Boy Scout ruling?

Believe it or not I was a Boy Scout.  In fact, I was an Eagle Scout and an Assistant Scoutmaster.    Once I knew I was gay I dropped out of the organization.   I didn’t feel comfortable.  Back then people associated gay with child molester.  I supposed they still do.  My father was District Camping Chairman so I did help out on special events when others were unavailable.  In fact, I was an archery teacher at several Cub Scout events (no overnighters!).   In a way I am sorry I didn’t stand up for myself back then, but that was not who I was at the time.

It was difficult enough taking on my family and friends let alone an organization that is largely sponsored by churches.  These people in the news today are brave folks.  I was a coward.

My uncle John is big on Scouting.  He is also a fundamentalist Christian.  We don’t socialize anymore.  He is only 10 years older then me.  I don’t know when he changed into this conservative a moralist he is now.   I suspect his wife had a lot to do with it.   I still love my uncle John.  I just don’t need to be preached to about my supposed sins.  He is a descent man.  And I remember him as a warm hearted and forgiving person, not who he has become.  I want to preserve that memory so I don’t associate with him much, big family gatherings, funerals, that’s about it.

So you see the Boy Scouts were personified for me by my uncle and my father.   Two men at opposite ends of the spectrum.  My father is a very tolerant man.

I am happy to see this change coming.  It is kind of ironic, because being a young scout brought teasing from school mates.  We were called ” faggots”.  Imagine that.

This change is a good thing for the Scouts.