Last time I talked about what my motivation is to lose weight. Now let’s see if we can figure out the how part. The standard answer here is move more eat less, diet and exercise. These words evoke years of pain and suffering and with very little success. People say it’s not a diet it’s a lifestyle change. Bull shit. When I married Ricky that was a lifestyle change. If I don’t eat sweets, fried foods, or starches of any type (bread, pasta, potatoes, and rice) that is cruel and inhumane punishment, not a lifestyle change. If I go to the gym every evening after work and ride the elliptical or the bike or the treadmill, instead of going home to eat dinner that is more punishment.
But Jeff, you say, think of your goals. Double bull shit.
So what am I going to do? I have been logging everything I eat in my new Fitbit app. I wear this damn bracelet that reminds me of prison, even though I have never been there, everywhere but in the shower. It is telling me things I already know. You ate too much, you aren’t moving enough, you aren’t getting enough sleep (because I am dreaming about food!). So this Martha Stewart anklet that I wear on my wrist reports all this data to my phone. I can graph it out. Whoopee! I can see failure in a pie chart or a bar graph, wonderful. I know I can’t stop thing about that pie either.
I have the tools…or at least the ones there are available to me. My company bought me the Fitbit as part of our Healthy Tracks program. Here is the problem. I like to eat. I like to sit and do nothing. I hate to drink water. I love sweets. I love bread. The answer to this problem is moderation. Triple bullshit. If I open a bag of chips, I am going to eat a bag of chips. If I have one pieces of pizza, I won’t stop till the pie is gone. There’s that word again, pie.
We got a dog. I hate walking that damn thing. It’s cold out there and he wants to lift his leg on every tree and sniff out the perfect place to poop. Please just go, so I can get back in side and sit and do nothing, like the cat.
Then there is the limited result of my attempt to comply with these rules. The first week I can shed 5 pounds. Then ……….nothing more. It is very discouraging. When I was younger I could lose weight much more easily. My metabolism has slowed down. You have read my previous posts about diet pills and magic elixirs. None of that works. The diet pills were like being on Meth. Not that I have ever done drugs but I know I didn’t feel normal.
I am on that plateau now. Waiting for the scales to turn in my favor. If my will power can just hold out for a few more days. I will get past this lull. It is a diet. It is exercise for no reason. It will work eventually.