66

I turned 66 a few days ago.  Like the route I am a trail of faded attractions, potholes, and dreams.  It’s  not all negative. Though I show signs of wear, I am still going strong.

A recent check up so me on track.  My ailments are controlled. Nothing is completely out of order demading immediate attention. 

I do have some issues. I asked the doctor to check my cortisol levels.  It’s  a special  blood test to rule out something call cushing disease , a disorder with the adrenal glands.

I am also following up on my Buffalo hump with an MRI and a trip to the surgeon.  Hopefully it can be removed.

And finally I am talking to my heart doctor to see if changes in medication will help with my lack of desire and ED.

I suspect it is all just aging and I can live with that too.

I did have a nice birthday.

Streetcar name desire

Looking back

Took a ride on the streetcar  through the garden district.  Tennessee Williams wrote a play with this trolley in the title.  Blanche and Stella lived in the French Quarter where this line starts.  We boarded just off Canal Street.

We got off and had lunch in the Oak lined neighborhood at Paulie’s Delicatessen Italiano .  There was even live music.  Lots of memorabilia on the walls.

Simon and Garfunkel in Central Park.

Imagine  seeing the Beatles for 4.50.

Passing another car.

Lots of trees and houses.

For just 3 dollars you can have unlimited rides all day.  After lunch the line broke down. But never fear they sent us an air conditioned bus which was much more comfortable.

Tripping

We are home from our visit to Oklahoma and our vacationing in New Orleans. The first part was about seeing family. Why else would anyone got to Tulsa Oklahoma? It was a nice five day visit. We stayed at eldest granddaughters house. Ricky got to spend time with his son, daughter-in-law and youngest granddaughter. The wicked in-laws next door stayed at bay. But we did she Ricky’s ex-wife (son’s mother) who also lives next door on the opposite side. It’s like Knotts Landing without all the fun.

New Orleans was great as always. We went a week before Decadence to celebrate our new friend Tommy’s birthday which happened to be during Decadence last year when we met him for the first time. The gay town was not nearly and busy but it was still fun. The bars are everywhere. If you stumble and fall, no worries you are at the threshold of your next adventure (bar).

We came home to a broken washing machine. It is out of balance and wants to walk away. Me too. Anyway the parts are on order and should come in 7 to 14 days. I think I have enough clothes, but there is always the laundromat, at least I think there is one around here.

I will tell the rest of this adventure through photos. I am tired. The time change has me all messed up.

Sunset from our rooftop pool at Hotel Monteleone

Carousel bar, Tommy, me, and Ricky

Tour carriage in the Quarter

I wonder if they earned all those beads

Cafe Lafitte in exile. Claims to be oldest continously running gay bar in the French Quarter

Random  courtyard. They are everywhere.

Breakfast at Brennan’s

Backspace bar.  Fun with typewriter theme.

Dinner at Olde New Orleans Cookery

Flowers in the lobby.

The upload failed so I will continue this in another post.

Dealing with it

My sister in-law once said she doesn’t have any friends because they are too much work.  In many ways that can be true. You have to find balance.  Is the joy you received worth the effort you put out?* I think we ask ourselves this question about everything in life.

You’ve heard my complaints about my husband’s new bestie.  But I have to step back and look at the happiness he has found. Who am I to deny him that quest.? Ricky has suffered from depression in the past. It’s something I don’t relate to well because I can’t fix it. I am a fixer by nature.

Some things just take care of themselves with enough time.  I know this from my own past. But I have never been depressed. Unhappy yes. But depression is more than that, it’s a dark cloud that hopefully passes over.

Ricky relates to this young man because he has had those dark clouds too. 

So being the good husband I have made peace with this situation.  I may not like it to have him around all the time but in a few weeks he will go back to work teaching and his availability will be reduced to Friday and Saturday.  What’s that song, “If it makes you happy” by Sheryl Crow.

If it makes you happy
It can’t be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad

*To put it more bluntly “Is the screwing you’re getting worth the screwing you’re getting.”

Taradiddle

There recently  was a video in my Threads feed of a man being frisked by police and then shot to death.  It was very disturbing to me. 

A young white man had his hands on the side of the car while an officer reached around and into his pants. He appeared to be molesting him. The guy struggles to get away and is thrown to the ground where he manages to get up and run. The officer shoots him.

The comments on the video say he was treated like a black man.  I am sorry, but nobody should be treated this way.  Is this what black people tend to expect?  Things need to change for sure.

The story is sort of a taradiddle.  The lies told by the officer to justify his actions.  Potentially, the lies of the victim for a supposed crime he was pulled over for in the first place.  And then the surreal results of those words and actions. 

It starts out looking like pretentious nonsense and ends with a horrible truth.

It reminded me of a time I was pulled over New Years day 1986.  I had been to a New Year’s Eve party at a local club called Robbie’s in Pomona.  The cops were patrolling to catch drunk drivers on what is probably a good night for it.  Ah, but I had not been drinking.  I took a break from alcohol after being in a car crash that Halloween. I was completely  sober.

The officer realized this after talking to me, but to save face he made me get out of the car and frisked me in the same manner as that poor guy in the video.  He didn’t put his hands down my pants but I was wearing pleated pants with no underwear. He gripped my crotch and I immediately froze.  Eventually it was over and he had to let me go.  I didn’t report him. The police had a reputation of harassing gays.  I tried to stay calm, got back in my car and drove home.

My thoughts are this could have gone down much differently had I struggled or questioned his behavior in any way. This location where I was pulled off was at the end of Indian Hill Boulevard.  Several years later the LA riots would come down the street.

Most people don’t think of Pomona and the LA riots. But there were splitter riots throughout the county. Pomona is the Eastern edge of LA County.

I bring this up because a friend of mine’s  niece’s boyfriend was killed during the riots. She was black and only sixteen years old.  She was at her aunt’s house sobbing.  It was a sad time.

So again it was a taradiddle.  The police had one story. The family had another. The truth was lost.

Perhaps these aren’t the truest sense of the word but my own interpretation. Here is the definition.

Taradiddle
noun
1. A petty lie.

2. Pretentious nonsense.

Saturday dinner party

We are having a small dinner party this Saturday.  Party of five,  squirrel boy, Jonathan, Gonzalo, me and Ricky.  Squirrel boy is code for Rick’s new bestie on the HOA board.  He suffered from ADHD, hence the nickname. He is a squirrel.

Charcuterie board

Salad

It should be a nice evening.  Rick is making dinner.  We are having salmon, potatoes of some sort, asparagus, gluten free cornbread and salad. 

Salmon

Roasted potatoes

Cornbread muffins

Asparagus with hollandaise

Mochi

I am usually the bartender and appetizer coordinator.  Mostly just a charcuterie board and a few other snacks.  Ricky plays chef.  Gonzalo is bringing dessert, Mochi.

I am dealing with my anxiety about the squirrel.  Hopefully things will go well. The other couple will be a good buffer.

Cocktails please!

Getting fit for vacation

With less than four weeks til our summer trip  I have stepped up my diet and exercise routine.  Cutting sweets and carbohydrates as well as increasing my time in the pool will help. I also added an afternoon workout with dumbbells.

Every morning I swim for 40 minutes which is roughly 40 laps in our clubhouse pool.  I was only doing 20 minutes.  I haven’t seen progress on the scales but I feel better.

My afternoon routine is one I borrowed from YouTube.  Seven different exercises, two sets each for about 20 minutes is all it takes.

My weights are much lighter than the ones that were used in the video. I also modified the exercises to meet my capabilities.

I use 8 pound dumbbells.

Weighted squats – 15 reps

Bicep curls – 15 reps

Overhead standing lifts – 15 reps

Double standing rowing – 15 reps

Bench press lying on the floor – 15 reps

Head crushers also on the floor – 15 reps

Bicycle crunches again on the floor – 15 reps

Rinse and repeat….

The goal is to look better before vacation.  I will let you know what success I have with all of this, the diet is difficult because it’s ice cream season.

A little help from my friends

We had a week without a certain neighbor.  He was in LA at a teacher conference till Sunday.  Then he had jury duty this week so the break was extended. As I am writing this he is supposed to be coming over for a short visit after he runs an errand.

Yesterday was the HOA meeting. Ricky saw him then but they didn’t get a chance to visit.  Today Rick volunteered to be on the landscape committee. This guy is on the committee too, plus another neighbor named Mindy.

Where am I going with this you may be asking. This is the guy I think Ricky spends entirely too much time with already.  He comes over often. We sit and talk and sometimes play games. I like the game playing  part. But I need space from this guy.  If possible I will escape to the other room and watch TV.

I know I shouldn’t feel this way but I feel like some of what made our relationship work is being challenged by this new person.  He asked him to fix things. He takes his advice on things like his haircut. Little things that take a load off my plate but I  still feel threatened.

We do things together, like go out to dinner or a bar or a comedy show.  That’s all fine.  But he is here constantly.  It’s too much.

It’s nice to have friends but most friends don’t invade my space the way he does if you know what I am saying.

I am dealing with it. We have had arguments about him and so far I am losing those arguments.  My neighbor Sam has given me an escape hatch.  If it’s too much I just say I am going over to help her with her computer or her phone.  So far he hasn’t offered to tag along.

Sam and I sit at the kitchen counter and drink champagne while playing with the cat. I unload on her and she understands me. She sees what is happening. Probably everyone does but Ricky.

I don’t remember if I shared these pictures before but Sam is on the left. Our friend Jon made this image from the actual photo below. That’s his husband Gonzalo as Jimmy Kimmel.

Sleeping

Apparently I am sleeping well.  After a huge ordeal of getting re-diagnosed with sleep apnea, doing an at home study, getting a new CPAP machine, and a new provider, all to satisfy insurance requirements.

I had my follow up appointment with the neurologist.  I went from 28 episodes per hour down to two per night. Those commercials pushing alternatives to CPAP are wrong.  I don’t find the machine noisy or cumbersome to use.  Those alternatives involve surgery and an implant.  No thank you!  Oh and those ridiculous mouth guards and chin straps and mouth tape, how barbarian.   CPAP works for me full stop.

I also had my yearly eye exam to check for signs of damage to my eye due to diabetes.  Once again I got a clean bill of health.  At the end of summer I have another blood test to see how my meds are working.  Last time I scored a 6.3 A1C.  Anything below 7 is considered managed.

My weight management is another story.  I have been swimming.  I recently doubled my time and laps.  We are going on a vacation the end of August. Maybe I can shed a few pounds before the trip.  Of course, we end up in New Orleans so it will be short term as the food there is amazing.

Sorry if this has turned into an old man post about my health.  I will try to be more festive next time.

Summer time

“Summertime, and the livin’ is easy
Fish are jumpin’ and the cotton is high
Oh, your daddy’s rich and your ma is good lookin’ So hush, little baby, don’t you cry”

Waterfall over the spa

The spa

Back side of water

Patio outside living room

Patio outside bedroom

Tonga Hut

Pond by clubhouse

Beautiful palm trees near the back pool

My friend the egret

Mexican Bird of Paradise

Ducks

Hummingbirds love this plant

Me and my sister

Kitten outside my nephews place

Sunset at Park Palms

Neighbor’s cat Zachary

Ella Fitzgerald